Valeria Out Loud

Hey WordPressers- I wish I was sharing some great news about starting back to yoga or my workout routine, or how I kicked ass in pottery this week making two bowls on the wheel..cuz I did, (I have pix to prove it), but, I’m here to share some surreal news. I had to rush my husband to the ER on Monday night, and in a blink of an eye…he was rushed to another hospital for emergency surgery. He needed a cardio-thoracic specialist. Without too much detail, because a ton of stuff happened, this wasn’t something health related, he had perforated his esophagus (from a bite of food). He sporadically has food caught in his throat..something that concerned me for years and now we know why.

The surgery was long but successful.

They found the tear, fixed it, even found what they think was a bit of orange pulp below it but right under that they found a tumor (I can’t believe this). We have been told these are very uncommon to be cancerous. We have been told numerous times – and I am not sure not worrying about what this is or isn’t is the right move..So, I worry. But I am focused on the good too. He can speak, which is great. He is in good spirits and looks flush. His vitals are great now. The staff was able to get him on his feet yesterday and says things are going in the right direction healing. All good things. Even finding this growth, my God. What a stroke of luck.

He spent two nights in the MICU, which was nerve wracking, but was moved to a room last night after visiting hours. I am there all day to watch him (basically sleep) get his vitals and meds. He can’t drink nor eat for a while, and has a stomach port for when nutrients can be given. But he will have some swallow tests in a few days to check his esophagus.

It’s incredible the technologies we have in this beautiful world that we live in and that there are human beings much smarter than me who work to save lives.

I can’t seem to concentrate on much. My body gives in when I walk in the door. The stress worrying and being the rock for my family is consuming but this is how it is for right now. We had a bout of snow overnight so, I have no choice but to slow down this morning- and slow my thoughts. My husband is in a good safe place with lots of help from people who know what they’re doing.

Our daughters are doing ok. It’s overwhelming, depressing, and stressful living with all of this unexpectedly – it is a shock to the system. Their larger than life father is mortal. It’s scary. But. Thankfully, I charged up his phone that first night, and brought him a charger and his air pods yesterday, so he can text or FaceTime with them while he is awake at night. Our oldest has visited with him and today’s our youngest daughter’s turn. (Only two ppl can visit at a time) but if the driveway can’t be plowed out, it puts a wrench in that. Though our neighbor messaged me earlier to say he could help me after work. (Such nice ppl!). Visiting hours are 10A-6P, so I’m hoping for a plowing miracle.

So right now, we know that my husband has a week to spend in hospital. Which I hope goes quickly and painlessly for him. And in the meantime, we wait for the results and for him to gain strength to have those swallow tests. I have no clue what recovery looks like beyond that at the moment.

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I believe that every single thing happens in life for a reason.

We had a Monday night in alone, with our kids out at friends. It’s school vacation week, and we didn’t make any vacation plans. We were home. He made me dinner while I was at pottery class. I walked in to find him saying there were no mushrooms for the dish (coq au vin) so he used mini potatoes instead. He debated to use the potatoes he said. He kept on about the potatoes, it was funny. So, I set the table. Grabbed wine. We sat down with piping hot stew in our bowls, smelled amazing. We were starving. Then, he smiled big and grabbed a bite.

His first bite of food was a potato …that went down his throat incorrectly.

And here we are.

Please take care of yourselves, guys. Life is unpredictable.