Valeria Out Loud

Hello Everyone!!

It is Sunday at 6A. There’s no CCD. I should be sleeping, but I am a mother and 42 years old. Sleeping in, for me, has lost its meaning years ago. As I type this, my husband is sleeping. Full on sleep. I don’t know how he can sleep for so long? I try but my eyes naturally open at 6A.

Ok, let me focus here… it is day 14 out of 31 this Sober October. Since my last post, I have stayed true to my challenge. No booze. Fasting after 8P. And no junk food… not even pretzels! It has been tougher as the days slip by. I wonder if it is because of the amount of time or if I am just clean and my body knows it?

In place of alcohol this month, I have had water, coffee, tea, regular and many flavored waters- by Polar, Dasani and San Pellegrino. I love seltzer / mineral water but it’s not thirst quenching and I can’t find one flavored water that I truly can’t live without. Ginger lime mule by Polar is good, but I get sick of it quickly. Plus, I find they all have a funny after taste. And I am not a soda person, unless I am in the mood for a fountain soda. That is it.

Why is it that I can drink a glass of wine in a few minutes, but seltzer water is so hard for me to swallow!?

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On day 12, my husband and I went out on a date; dinner and a concert. We had a great night, I love hanging out with him alone. He took me to Ward 8 in the North End for dinner, it was really fun. The concert was nearby at the Boston Garden, Modest Mouse opened for The Black Keys. Awesome, right!!!??? He had given me these tickets for Mother’s Day, and I have been counting down the days!! What a show! It quite possibly may be the best concert of my life so far. That’s a huge statement, but MM was truly good and TBK went total old school, playing songs from my favorite albums. It was pretty fantastic!!

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Yesterday, day 13, well, yesterday was a low-key family day. After picking up the girls from their grandparents in the late morning, my husband had to run to work, so the girls and I spent the day being creative. Our oldest daughter has been working on pencil portraits of her best friends, so she made two more. She is so talented! With our youngest, well, we baked. She is insanely fixated on baking. And since I have a cache of apples, I indulged her. Why so many apples? Well, my parents have been away for a couple of weeks, and before they left, they unloaded their fridge on me. They gave me bags of fruit, like these apples. Then that same day, my husband came home from work with a bushel of apples!! We can’t eat this many each day, though my husband is giving it his best. So, I had my daughter look through our baking cookbooks yesterday for recipes that contained items I had in the house. We made an apple cake and banana bread breakfast muffins. But also, a compote of apples to eat WHILE baking for her and her sister. She loves to bake! I love helping her. Then after my husband got home, I made us black truffle linguini before we watched a movie, Toy Story 4. They all ate the apple cake, as I tried not to cry again for Woody.

Last night, before dinner, we decided to push our hiking plans for today to Monday, since we have off for the holiday and it will be a touch warmer. Our friends’ ears must’ve been ringing that we were free because few minutes after we moved our plans, our friends messaged us to hang out tonight to see a movie. We got tickets to see the Joker. Yes, finally!!! I have been dying to see it since the initial trailer came out months ago!! I love Joaquin Phoenix..so much his name auto populates in my text. 🙂

So, this poses some challenges for me.

Hanging out with our friends is awesome. I love them all like family. Seriously these are my people. But hanging out, it is also usually a night of bad eating and drinking for me. For most of us. I know! I don’t have to drink. I know I don’t. But, to be honest, I have been intentionally avoiding hanging out to escape situations where I am tempted.

Now that I am thinking about it, I am doing myself a disservice because that’s not real life. I am supposed to feel uncomfortable to change. I know this.

I will have to figure out a plan for tonight. I need to keep up this great effort.

Wish me luck!!