Man, oh, man! How amazing is it going for you all right now!? Pretty awesome, right?
Yes, I know, not everyone is on a rad high like me, but I am hoping it is infectious! I have had such a great couple of weeks that I can’t hold it in.
Just spent my lunch break at the gym. Today is abs, obliques, and biceps day. My second fav day! My first being Monday. (Yes! MONDAY! Back at it after a weekend off is the best feeling to make the week!) I have been having a real blast with my fitness routine for some time now and it’s paying off.
Not just physical, but mental, too. Something I wasn’t expecting.
You guys know that I started a fitness routine this year, around April officially, after all the bouts with strep throat and the flu running through my body, I never gave up with my motivation to just start back. I started though at a snail’s pace; going 3-4 days, but taking it real easy with weights. Then about two and a half months ago, I felt ready to take the step into the world of weight training again and headed over the other side of the gym to do some real specific training. It was amazing how my body started to change, and that visual gratification of seeing muscles happening felt so great. But I was still taking it easy, not really pushing myself. Then about four weeks ago, I started to really push myself. I am hitting the gym at least 5 days a week, working myself into a sweating mess.
This is not like me, as I never sweat. haha
A lot of changes have been happening. But most of all is my overall happiness with my body. While on vacation last week, which was when the feeling of liking my body really sunk in the most, I decided to bring my favorite electric blue bikini. A bathing suit I adored 5 yrs ago when I was feeling the best about myself. I am quite the bathing suit fiend, so my collection is huge, but that blue bikini had been sitting in my drawer, sadly waiting to make its re debut. So. Before going on vacation, I quickly tried it on to see how it fit again, and I thought to bring it, as I could wear a tank over it or whatever to hide my trouble spots.
YUP, I wore it! On about day three or four. I didn’t hide behind anything, or anyone and just wore it. Believe it or not..No one gasped at my body or me, no one gawked and to be totally honest, I got checked out a lot!! hah Nice surprise there. But. As I sat there on the beach, in my blue bikini, looking at other people, namely woman, thinking, ‘hey, that lady isn’t perfect. Neither is she. That one has chubby thighs, over there is cellulite, and that one has belly stretch marks, too. So, we arent that different, other than I am a different body type, if even that.’
It just felt like this relief of not needing to compete. I don’t know how or where this all came from but, seeing these normal imperfections on those women made me feel real good cause it wasn’t about them being prettier than me or whatever I used to feel, but it was about me feeling good about my body and what I have worked so hard to achieve.
I am beautiful, too, dammit!
This all changed my perspective. I’m so happy about this. I wish I could convey my feeling better. But like I said, I am in no way perfect, maybe in my husband’s and childrens’ eyes, but I am not. No one is. We all have trouble spots or little nooks n crannies on our bodies we avoid looking at, but know all too well that they are there. But you can change them and you can change how you see them.
I am changing. I see things flattening out, diminishing, and I feel like I glow.
I never thought that I would be this person talking to you right now with great changes in my mind and my body just in a few months. No way. I thought I would’ve quit by now with how sick I was when I started and with how slow I began the process. YES, even with all my motivating posts or whatever, I just know me. Giving up is easy. Being lazy is easier than trying. But I haven’t thought to give up at all.
Not one time. <– That is major.
My mind has been on this high of feeling great, every day!
So, I hope you are all infected with the joy I am feeling. It really does feel good to look at yourself, even with critiquing eyes, but not to the point of hurting yourself. There are enough losers in this world doing that, we don’t need more. 🙂
Valeria Out Loud 
This was one of your best posts Val. Yes, I read them all.
Thanks Chris. I havent written like this in a bit.