Valeria Out Loud

Been giving myself some time to think about 2012.  All of my families firsts, vacations and memories made together.  All the ups and downs.   Laughs and tears.  As I look at it, 2012 was a year for me to reconnect with my husband and children, and really settle back into my motherhood role again.

Since 2009, I have been working on myself; mental and physical.  October of that year I had surgery, the one I had hinted to before.  Just so we are all on the same page, and you are not thinking it was something else, it was breast reduction surgery.  And it literally changed my life. From the second in recovery I didn’t feel like I did before the surgery.  I changed.  It awoke within me through the following months into 2010, a totally different person. I started focusing life back to myself, and loved the person I started to see.  The metamorphose of Valeria, is what I claimed 2010.  It was a major year.  Lost so much weight, 57lbs to be exact, because I was able to move and feel confident in myself.  Having all that weight along with that chest was so depressing for me. And oddly, I felt like I lost a part of myself after the surgery, and was in a type of mourning.  I never was like that before, physically, and after my children were born I was a mess and hated it.  I was 32 years old, and I felt trapped in my body.  All that weight loss lead me to getting my self esteem back.  I felt beautiful again with help from friends. Got to wear clothes I never could wear before, or clothes that I had put away thinking I’d never be able to again.  I felt like my children were happier cause of it too, which was all I needed to keep me motivated through that year.  I was able to be with them in a way I couldn’t before. I was living. I will write about my surgery and recovery experience someday; it was that profound.  Then in 2011, it was still a self discovery year, I worked on my emotional self.  I will forever be emotional, but I was working on what was making me unhappy prior to my surgery..and well, it was me inside.  How I was seeing myself.  How I had started to accept that fat, sad girl, and felt like I was on a spiral to losing who I was.  So, in the first half of 2011, I felt like I got the rest of me back. All the previous self discovery had led me to find happiness. Real happiness.  That type of being within yourself where you are happy no matter what is going on around you. I mean, I get upset, I yell, I get moody or sad; I am Sicilian, so that passionate side of me is hard to lose! But it’s that I learned to shift to focus on what really matters. So, when 2012 came along, I wasn’t thinking totally about myself as much.  Though I packed on almost 15lbs in 2011. I know I was so upset at myself for that too.  Started thinking about what outside of myself was making me happy.  My husband.  My children. My family.  My friends.  My home. My town. My colleagues.   My life.   What it all really meant to me.  It was more than I ever realized before.  Which is why I delved further into my motherhood and I guess you would say wifehood too. To find that key within me to unlock my families full potential to happiness.  I feel like last year my family and I grew, a lot.  My children, who are real great girls, just seem content with everything.  Not like they didn’t before, but I really think that they innately feel that I am happy.  Their father is happy.  Life is good.

So here I am now. 2013.  Only 7 days in, and I can’t wait to get into the thick of it.  Honestly, I have been beaming since last week.  I drove into work Wednesday with the most positive intentions for this year. Like I have this opportunity ahead of me.  A lot of people take on the meaning of a new year for new beginnings, and guess I am one of those people, too.  Always full of hope looking forward. So, whatever comes this year I will be true to myself.  Always.

It starts today.

Today I am starting back on my gym life.  I missed it. A lot? Not really, but I missed how I was feeling.  Keeping active is important; keeps you happy and motivated.  Got back from our trip to Disney in February and saw that I gained weight. UGH! How?  We walked and busted our asses for 8 days! But we were probably consuming more calories than we could burn.  But quickly by the first week of March I dropped it.  Phew.  Then little by little I just kept losing some weight here, gaining a lb here.  And with all this I lost 10lbs by the time this new year started. BUT I wasn’t really trying.  I didn’t do anything, just thought..why is it some people maintain weight without trying? Which is unfair! … so that is what I did.  Even though I feel like this step was real important, to maintain. It’s not enough for me anymore.  Now thinking that I need to take what I learned and add-on what I was doing with the frequency of gym time 2 yrs ago.. balance out my body and mind to be that hot fox again. (yes you can laugh)    This is what I am going to do, saying it here as some accountability and motivation.  Weight loss journeys are tough.  But I am going to do this cause I am tougher.  I am going to be successful.  This year is going to be a good one.  I can feel it!

🙂

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Decided to post pics highlighting my year starting from our big First Disney trip in January, my older sister’s visit from Italy till the end when I started journaling and posting recipes.  🙂

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