You have no idea quite yet how much you have changed my life. I never saw my future self when I was a young woman being a mother, and I guess it was because I never felt like I was equipped to be a life long teacher…till I met you guys. The change was pretty instantaneous, you two, from the beginning, made me feel so centered and loved, that motherhood felt natural. I mean this literally. In the hospital the morning after I gave birth to H, which was only a few hours after I had you, the nurse had that heartbeat monitor on for a while as she talked to me, checked vitals, etc, and after a bit made this sound ‘huh’. So of course, I had to ask what was wrong and what she said was by far the best words of my life. ‘Oh, nothing is wrong’, she said, ‘your heartbeat, as you’re holding your daughter, is much slower than when she is not in your arms.’
Because I loved being with you, my lovely girl. Same thing happened when I had L, except it was her face as they rested her on my chest that filled me with joy. She let out that little sigh as she looked up at me with a half smile. Like she was so happy to finally make it to meet me. 🙂 You were the ingredients I needed to feel good, literally inside.
So this post is a different one compared to the norm of birthdays or travels. This one has been a long time coming. I have had many moments when certain phrases or thoughts pop into my head and I wanted to make sure to write them down for you both; sometimes I forget them by the time I see you or I have been lucky enough to talk them through with you. Or I repeat them so you understand what I’m trying to instill. And. Though you guys know, I’d never really let a day pass without saying what is on my mind, when I remember. My intentions are so you know I love you and want to arm you with a bit of common sense information. Which can be very wordy at times. Do not laugh at your mother!
But seriously, these thoughts are like little life lessons that I know have come up or will, so here I decided to type them out… a spot where I can continue to share with you and they will never be lost.
Sooooooo, here I go with what’s on my mind…
1a. Be happy. No matter the paths you take. No matter if you make mistakes. Remember the steps you walk are a part of your journey and history. Do not regret your steps, but use them to learn from and keep moving forward. Mistakes are lessons learned and most likely, the ones you will remember learning most. But happiness inside comes from yourself. It’s a very conscious decision that drives inner contentment, it isn’t given. It is earned with a positive outlook, surrounding yourself with the activities and people who keep that ideal grounded. It’s like a habit of good thinking influences your life.
1b. Most people are annoyed by genuine happiness. I never understood why, but I think it has to do with their jealousy not figuring it out themselves. They cannot seem to figure out that it is a choice to make, like everything else in life. It is a choice every day. Don’t be a miserable jerk like those people, because negative fulfillment is the worst feeling. Every day is a true gift to be alive, so, as long as you realize that you can wake up everyday feeling happy, which means you can make any path to further contentment/happiness.
2. Beauty you are born with and beauty you manifest inside are different things. What I mean is you or others can’t help how you are born.. your eyes, lips, body, skin, being tall/short, or other features you are born with, are out of your control. Never just think that a handsome face equals a good person. It does not. A beautiful person has inner wisdom, life knowledge or talents that they use for the good in this world; they are soulful, passionate, selfless, respectful (and most importantly respected). Seeing through the mask of outer beauty is tough, but seeing the soul of a good person within is not if you look correctly. Just know the difference.
3. Be confident. Be proud of who you are, where you come from, what you do, what you make, what you have and don’t be afraid to misstep. You are only human. What I admire about strong people is their confidence. Their confidence in just being; their confidence in not being afraid to try in spite of making mistakes. Their confidence within. Even their resilience to be confident in times they might want to waiver. Stand tall and know yourself well enough to stand grounded.
4. Do not take each day for granted. Participate in the day. In your life. Don’t be so lazy or blue that a day withers on. The worst things I have seen come from those sloth like people who do enough just to survive, for what? That is no life, YOU ARE HERE TO LIVE, MY LOVES!! So live!!
5. Find passionate love. The kind of love that utterly sweeps you off your feet. Where a kiss lifts your spirits and a look from the eyes paints your soul. The kind of love that beckons the birds and music every day. The type of love of your dreams, that brings you the respect, admiration and the complimentary companionship you deserve…and if you can make sure the person you love is also funny and handy around the house, car or yard ..that is a bonus! ;)-
6. Laugh. AT EVERYTHING. Life is too short to not enjoy it. Laughter fills the soul. At the worst points in my life, I found that one laughable moment would get my spirits back up. Even if it was brief, it made differences I appreciated. And I swear laughter is a part of staying youthful, which is important as we age. So laugh every day…and use face cream. Jussaying. Powerful stuff there.
7. Don’t get wrapped up in what other people think of you. It is their opinion, and it shouldn’t have become common knowledge. It only matters how you know yourself. (as I always say..’screw them. They miss out on the beauty within’.)
8. Your family is the first set of people you love, learn to cope with and love you unconditionally. Never stray from one another. Don’t let moments pass by without sharing them together. Always keep an open dialogue with me and daddy. And. Especially with each other. You and your sister are a special unit, a bond no one else can understand.
9. Stop often to look up at the sky. Take yourself outside to enjoy what this beautiful world has to offer. Go on hikes, walk your neighborhood, drive to the beach/ocean, bike trails, visit landmarks.. even sit in the yard. With your eyes open. Take it all in.
10. Never stop learning. There is one thing in this world that no one can ever take away from you. Knowledge. It keeps us motivated. Helps us grow as humans, and keeps us connected to the real world. These things are key. For life. And you just don’t know who you can help with your intelligence.
11. Stay away from others who cause drama. People that gossip, argue over nothing or look for things to happen to them by causing conflict. These people will cause you to lose yourself in their stupidity and you just don’t need that in your life.
12. Never work a day in your life. What I mean is have a career, trade, or job that you love, and you will never feel it is a burden. You will wake up with an eagerness and THAT is a great thing to be able to have each day.
13. Be true to yourself. If something doesn’t feel right to do, well, just don’t do it. You don’t have to compromise yourself for other people’s ideals. Trust your instinct. Your gut will never let you down if you listen to yourself.
14. Stay active. Not only is it great for your body but it is great for your mind. You will learn a lot about yourself when you continue to challenge yourself in this realm. Whatever the activity. You are capable of so much and keeping an active lifestyle helps you see many of life’s challenges ahead in different ways.
15. Or is this 14a? Anyways. When life gets you down you get up. Literally. Sometimes the best perspective can be found when you are active. Go for a run, lift weights (highly recommend), hit the gym, hike, be in a place where you are moving your body and you will see more clearly.
OK, I think that is enough for right now. You know there will be more. Haha. But I hope you can hear my energy in each thought because I believe that these are important insights to repeat to oneself.
You girls are special, strong, smart, beautiful souls. Such individuals with drive, and I hope my guidance throughout your life brings out the very best in you.. you make me extremely happy and proud.
I love you more than anything in this world.